Hello all, this is Josh writing on behalf of Kim.

I wish I could say we had something hopeful and happy to write but unfortunately it is the opposite.

Tuesday Kim was admitted into Huntsman again for pain in her abdomen. After a CT scan it was seen that tumors had formed blocking sections of her small intestines, kidneys, and urinary tract, with other tumors forming. The teams of doctors have determined that the course of action to be had at this point is pain management. The doctors have said that we are looking at weeks of life left, and at the most a month or two.

We don't know when we will get to bring her home, but until kim has strength and desire to post again we are notifying her readers to log into Josh and Elena's blog for updates.

Thank you for your prayers, your hopes, and your kindness.

Tagged by Chrissy
I'm supposed to tell you seven weird facts about myself. I think everyone I know has been tagged by this, so I won't tag anyone new...but here are my 7 weirdnesses:

1. I read two or three books at the same time. This is because I usually don't put them down in places easy to find again, and while looking for it, I run across another one I put down before. Right now I am reading Having a Mary Heart in a Martha World, A New Earth, and a replica copy of the Book of Mormon in first edition format, more like a novel. I thought that might be interesting and shed new light on it to read it as a "story".
2. I have 17 years worth of Primary music visual aids stored in the closet. This plus what I leave at the church. It's rather a sickness. I never chuck anything as I might need it again or need to repurpose it.
3. David and I switch sides of the bed we sleep on a couple of times a year. I'd like to say this is in lieu of flipping the mattress, but really it totally depends on which of us needs to get up more frequently in the night to pee.
4. I have the same amount of Primary visual aids stored digitally in my computer. I also have tons of links to blogs, websites and more that I steal ideas from. I'm not as creative as I am a good copy-cat.
5. I am teaching the Primary kids a song to sing at my funeral. Might seem a little odd, I know, but it comforts me, and I think gives them a chance to process watching Sister Madsen battle cancer.
6. I own 30 hats and 25 scarves. If you need any hat for any occasion, come check my supply. They are not in use right now, as I have my hair during this chemo, but their waiting in case they are needed again.
7. I have 30 hanging baskets of flowers in my yard. I also have 25 different types of rose bushes ( does there seem to be a pattern to these numbers? I actually counted the hats, scarves, baskets and roses...) and too many perennials to count. Yes, my gardening is an obsession out of control as well.

You know, I just realized why Paula gave me a pillow that reads "too much of a good thing is wonderful..." (Mae West)

Everything's all right now, everything's fine...
So I have to apologize for scaring the neighbors last Friday night. Dave was cooking, dripped in the bottom of the oven, which set off the smoke alarm, which set off our fancy new alarm system, which dispatched the fire department, who came with lights and sirens blazing. My poor neighbors thought I had died or something and came running in bare feet (Thanks, Lynda, for being there for us...sorry to disturb your evening.) False alarm. All is well. The dinner was even good...it was just some splatters from squash in tinfoil. I told him to put in a pan to catch the drips. What do I know...

And the fun keeps coming. I've been having some new and disturbing symptoms since last Thursday: dizziness, shortness of breath, abdominal pain. When I reported it to my doctor yesterday, she got concerned and sent me in for a CT scan--she was worried about blood clots in my lungs. Fortunately, it didn't turn out to be that. Unfortunately, the CT scan showed new tumor growth right above my navel, about 1 inch in diameter. (I thought my belly button was getting an ever weirder shape than two major surgeries have given it.) She can't see how that tumor could be causing the symptoms, so I am tracking my food, water, activity, etc., to see if we can figure something out. Could be accumulating side-effects due to the chemo, could be the neupegen shots, could be the cancer. We just continue to wait and see. In the meantime, tap, tap, tap! My friends and I keep tap dancing and it's time to plant bulbs for next spring. (If I can bend over...)

Now We're Cooking with Gas...
As a matter of fact, ever since we redid the house, we have had a wonderful gas cook-top. Cooking hasn't always been my favorite thing to do, and every time I do it lately, my family asks me if I'm having a Betty Crocker fit. Note to self: You've let it go too long, Kim. You used to cook. You fed your family and baked bread and everything for years. I guess having cancer can definitely make you lazy in this department...

But I have found a couple of sites that intrigue me lately. I'm hoping they, and my two new crockpot cookbooks will inspire me to greater heights. I love great crockpot recipes. Anyone who has a favorite can share it with me! (please...) I seem to have a lot more energy in the morning and do a lot better at getting up, getting something in the crockpot for dinner and then not worrying about it as the day wears away, along with my energy.

http://thepioneerwoman.com/cooking/ This lady not only cooks great food, but takes wonderful pictures and blogs about it too.

http://web.me.com/rochelleht1/Rochelle_Tallmadge/food_storage_recipes.html is a fun link to a site where a creative cook shares her best recipes for things we usually keep around in our food storage.

http://thisweekfordinner.com/ This creative person posts a week's worth of menus, links to other sites and fun side dishes. What's not to inspire you?

I promise to reform and start cooking more. Dave will wonder what the heck happened!

Huck's Here!
Our newest little family member, Huckleberry David Madsen, came into the world today at 3:13 p.m. How's that for poetic...born on 10/13 at 3:13. His lucky number is destined to be 13! Josh and Elena both did wonderful at this having a baby thing. Elena was strong and brave and went through three hours of back labor in the wee hours of the morning by herself without bothering her sleeping hubby. Then he realized she wasn't in bed and got up to join her. They showed up at our house at 8:00 a.m. inviting us to go out to breakfast with them, but I was on my way to exercise and Dave was still sleeping, so we said we'd catch up with them later. By 10:00 a.m. they decided to head to the hospital with her pains coming 3 minutes apart. By 11:30 she was dilated to a 5, by 1:00 she was at a 7 and we got to the hospital around 2:00 just as she got the epidural and started loving life again. Check out Josh and Elena's blog and see all the great pictures he's put up already. Ah--the wonders of technology! Huck was 6 pounds 15 ounces and 19 and a half inches long. I personally think he looks just like my newborn picture. I'll dig one of those up and post it, to prove it to you!

To tap or not to tap? Silly Question...

My friend Karen Allred recently told us about a tap class she was starting to take. Paula, LouAnn and I immediately jumped on the bandwagon and a couple of weeks later, Caitlin joined us. We have so much fun! Shuffle ball change toe heel turn! Thanks, Karen, for introducing us to this fun class! (She was out of town on a cruise the day this picture was taken.) Here Paula, me and LouAnn get ready for hoofin' it.

Caitlin and I have a ball practicing during her lunch hour during the week, catching her up since she joined class a couple of weeks later than the rest of us. Look out next family talent show!

Sanctuary

I love opening my gate. There is nothing like a gate to say "this is a private space, but welcome, come in." I always think of the scene from IT'S A WONDERFUL LIFE where Jimmy Stewart is flirting with the girl he just met...his soon-to-be wife, over the little gate to her front yard. There is nothing like latching the gate shut to make you feel like you are home, safe, enclosed. It's sort of like a hug. I open the gate and go out, I come back and close the gate behind me. I am home. Sanctuary.

My Garden

I love my garden. Take a walk in it with me...

Another Death

Russ Kimber passed away last Saturday. Russ was married to Sharon Mower Madsen, my father-in-law's second wife. Dad married Sharon in 1989 and they were happily married until he passed away in 2001. Several months later, Sharon married Russ--one of Dad's dearest friends. They have been happily married for six years. My heart goes out to Sharon...she has buried three husbands. That's too much grief. I dunno, though. I guess the love is worth the grief. Russ and Sharon lived in Grouse Creek, where they are supported and cared for by so many wonderful neighbors. I think Sharon will stay there for awhile. She loves the horses, the open spaces, the people. Sharon is an angel on earth and everyone in the Madsen/Kimber family has been privileged to have her as a "mother-in-love". Rest in peace, Russ. I'm betting you and Dad Madsen are having a few good laughs and games of golf in heaven.

For Rick
Our nephew, Rick Ashby Madsen, was tragically killed in a car/motorcycle accident last week. He was only 31, newly returned from eight years in the military service. His wife Claurys, had just arrived in the U.S. from the Dominican Republic. They've been married for two years and lived apart most of the time as he was flying Blackhawk helicopters for the Army. He finally is honorably discharged, she legally immigrates, they set up housekeeping, and he is killed just a few weeks later. It is painful and ironic and reminds me once again of how tenuous life it. It's always too soon, we always want more time, we never are ready to go. Tell those important to you that you love them--today. For you, Rick: God be with you, 'til we meet again.

Rick Ashby Madsen 1977 - 2008

Sunday Sedative

On Sunday afternoons, the kids and grandkids come home to visit. Recently, Evie and Grandpa went upstairs to watch golf. This is how I found them a half hour later. I KNEW watching golf was completely boring. It puts even the passionate players to sleep!

Succulent Wild Women

The day before my birthday, August 13th, a group of my craziest friends gathered to usher my birthday in...in our birthday suits. We figured the occasion of my 50th birthday was ripe for a Succulent Wild Woman moment, so we gathered just before midnight and had a skinny dipping party...or should I say a Chunky Dunking party.

There they are...the accused crazies. It wasn't easy to keep this group quiet enough not to wake the neighbors at midnight, but we did it. Probably the most memorable moment of my birthday! Thanks, you guys for being succulent!

Many Thanks!

A week ago Dave threw me a Big Birthday Bash to celebrate that I was still here on my 5oth birthday. I just wanted to say thanks to all my friends, family, neighbors and loved ones who came to celebrate with me. You were all so kind to remember me and help make it a true celebration. I had a great time. The food was good, the music was excellent (Fret, Fiddle and Fife--hire them if you are doing a party, a wedding, any occasion needing good music...call me, I'll give you their contact information), and the company was superb, to say the least. I'm still getting my self organized enough to write thank you notes for all the fun remembrances and gifts people left for me.

Update in Cancer World: I couldn't have chemo this week because my blood counts had all reached critical lows--meaning my white blood cells, my red blood cells, my platelets, my hematocrit..all that stuff. I have to sit around and let my body build itself back up...which means I get two weeks in a row off. I look at it as a vacation of sorts! I have a CT scan in a couple of weeks and then we'll know what the tumors are doing in there.
I read a book by Rachel Remen called KITCHEN TABLE WISDOM. In it she said "a diagnosis is just an opinion, not a prediction." I like that. I remain open to the mystery of life and the possibility of me winning the battle against cancer. Stay tuned.

Angels Sing Thee to Thy Rest

Leroy Sievers, a man I've never met, yet whom with, for three years now, I've had a daily conversation via his blog (My Cancer), died on Saturday, August 16. I sat and cried as I read his obituary online. He had an uncanny knack for putting into words the feelings of each of us dealing with cancer--The Beast he called it. I will miss his brilliant observations. Even more though, it scares me. He and I were diagnosed within a month of each other. We each received news from our doctors last fall..."six months"...He is gone now. When will it be my turn?

Leroy Sievers 1955 - 2003

Life Long Lovers
We recently had a re-shoot of family photos with my niece, Bianca. She is SUCH an artist with a camera. I can't wait to get all of the pictures, but above is a taste. See all of her work on her site http://photographybybianca.blogspot.com/. I'll let you know when more of our pictures are ready, but for now, thanks, Bianca, for capturing the essence of our relationship--33 years of life and love.

NORMAL!


My doctor called last night to tell me my CA-125 counts have dropped to 32--that's in the normal range. We are very jazzed about this news. It doesn't mean I can stop chemo (yuck and boo hoo), but it does mean the chemo is working to hold The Beast at bay. I'm a happy girl.

And speaking of happy...

next Thursday, August 14th, I will turn FIFTY. The big 5-0. Some might find this a depressing time, but I'm so glad to have made it to 50. Last October they told me six months. I'm on nine months now, and grateful for every day the Lord sends me. So...come and celebrate with us. Dave is throwing me a Birthday Bash. Wear your Red Hats. Join us on August 14th from 6:00 to 9:30 pm (an open house style so you can come and go if need be). I'm inviting everyone in the world who thinks they'd like to be there. If you want, bring some favorite goodie to share, but it's not necessary. Just come and say HI and celebrate! I'm still alive and kicking!

I copied this from my daughter's blog. I think this may be a little more meaningful to me than to some who haven't faced their mortality yet. Here are the rules.

1. As a comment on my blog, leave one memory that you and I had together. It doesn't matter if you knew me a little or a lot, anything you remember! Nothing too embarrassing please. :) If we're only blogging friends, write about a post that is the most memorable for you.

2. Next, re-post these instructions on your blog and see how many people leave a memory about you. It's actually pretty funny to see the responses. If you leave a memory about me, I'll assume you're playing the game and I'll come to your blog and leave one about you. If you don't want to play on your blog, or if you don't have a blog, I'll leave my memory of you in my comments. I can't wait to see what people remember.

Love to all.

I had some good news yesterday from my doctor. My CA-125 counts (those little blood markers that tell them if the cancer is growing or receding) were down to 55. That's a phenomenal drop--last month they were at 153. Normal range is 20 - 35. We feel hopeful that the Gemcitabine is working it's chemo magic for now. I'm happy for every day the Lord sees fit to give me! I keep getting the weekly treatments (every Wednesday) and follow it up with two Nupegen shots spaced about two days apart. That seems to be a formula that keeps my white blood counts from bottoming out. My platelets and red blood cells are still low, which makes me feel tired, but it isn't impacting my life too negatively at this time. Still can do most everything I want--with plenty of nap and rest time factored in. The Nupegen gives me aches and pains as it kick starts my bone marrow...but gee whiz, who doesn't have aches and pains in their fifties? Yikes I can't belive that's staring me in the face...but happily so. I will turn 50 on August 14. Be prepared for the birthday bash of all time! I MADE IT TO 50! WHOOPEE!

I haven't blogged for awhile--life gets wonderfully lazy in the summer! I spend my days teaching water aerobics, puttering in my garden, taking the grandkids swimming. Not too long ago we had a fun family photo shoot with Bianca, my talented niece by marriage. Here's just one sample of her wonderful work:

You should check out her site Photography by Bianca
for more of her work and to schedule a shoot with her if she has the time!

At the end of June Our good friends Jessica and Goi visited from Hong Kong. It was so good to seem them. We had a fun family barbeque and Jessica and Goi got to see all the cousins and how grown they all are. Love you Jessica and Goi!

We had a wonderful 4th of July with family coming over for swimming and food. It was 102--so hot! We slept out with Evie and Jacob under the stars. Tiffany and Steven came down from Rexburg and joined us, which was nice since Josh and Elena and Caite and Patrick went to Bear Lake for the weekend. We missed them, but are sure they had fun too...if they didn't get too sunburned!

More neices and nephews married soon: Seth and Amy get married this coming Friday (July 11th) and then just a few weeks and two more weddings in that Ellis family. Kira and Spencer on July 31, then Cecily and Justin on August 2. What a month for the Ellis family...we're all scrambling to stay caught up with them. congratulations to them all--celebrate the LOVE!

Cancer update: still getting weekly chemo, three weeks on, one week off. I get tests done on July 9th, so we'll know if it's working or not. In the meantime, I don't feel too badly from the chemo and am able to do most all I want.

Dave and Josh WON THE GRAND PRIZE Father's Day Essay contest from the Golf Channel. They leave July 18th for St. Andrews in Scotland. I'm sure we'll have some pictures when they return. Thanks to all who voted for them. They are so EXCITED, it's hard to contain them.

My advice to you all--grab life and live it everyday. Appreciate the blue skies, bird songs, and fluffy clouds of summer. Slow down. Read a good book. Have lunch with a friend.

There's been a lot of buzz around our house since yesterday with the Golf Channel Essay contest. It's opened for voting. See the essay and video on-line by going to Father's Day Finalists and VOTE once a day!



You'll need to register to vote. They ask for your name, phone, address and email address. This is control the amount of votes one person can do a day. To make up for the inconvenience, they enter each person voting in a secondary contest for gift certificates, golf balls, etc. Hope you'll go vote for Josh--I really want to send him and his Dad to Scotland! You'll have to see the video to see me sink a 15 foot putt while wearing a church dress. You'll see it surprised us all!

One of the local papers, The Deseret News, ran a big article on Josh and Dave and the contest.
If you go to Dad's Life Lesson a Winner you can read the article, leave a comment and see an audio slide show.


Thanks to everyone for their love and support during this exciting opportunity! It's been fun, no matter what happens!