Kim Ellis Madsen
Aug. 14th, 1958-Feb 9th, 2009

Today at 2:10 PM our Mother, Friend and Hero passed away after a prolonged battle with ovarian cancer. She is a light unto the world and an example to us all of how to live our lives. We love you and will miss you Kim.

Thoughts from the Deathbed:
By Kim Madsen

Dying is HARD work!!!
Its a lot like labor in giving birth; false starts and stops and lots of waiting around. I've been at it for 5 weeks now, unbelievable!!
I have had angels helping me along the way, both here on this earth, and from Heaven. I give my heart felt thanks to each and every one of them. I have much Love shown to me by friends and family who pour out deep compassion and help - by bringing meals, cleaning the house, and making it so all that Dave has to do is occasionally clean orafices.
We love you all, we truly do. Sometimes I need peace and quiet to move further into Heaven; I'm ready to go.

[This is Elena, I've been scribing for Kim. But probably need to help fill in the picture of what's going on. This is house is an amazing place, I wish that all could see it - but it's a little much to handle sometimes too. There are MANY angels here and we can feel the good peaceful spirits they bring. Dying is such an exhausting experience for Kim. She will try to sleep, she doesn't feel too much pain - thanks to the drugs, but they definitely wear her out. Kim goes though cycles of awake and alive time where she eats, visits, laughs and gives the best advise and loving counsel to those who need it (whether they like it or not :). Then she'll get tired and zone out - drifting in and out of Heavenly stages. Sometimes closer to Heaven, than Earth. During this time she will say some pretty funny things, that don't quite make sense to those of us not coming and going on the Heavenly Elevator. Lately - you know she's tired if she starts talking in robot talk. Example: "Video, Josh HELP" translates to Josh, what help do you need to make the video.

Kim loves to eat little bites of what delicious things people have brought by. She likes sour popsicles, peach Jamba's, and has had everyone searching for "Black Jack" gum. I think who ever finds it might win a prize. She wants the flavor of black licorice without having to suffer the stuff actually coming back up. Kim can only eat so much, because it will eventually just come back up, or be VERY painful coming out. But she craves flavor - hence the new fascination with gum.

So the family close by feels very luck to be able to stop by when Kim is awake, we know that there are many friends that want to come visit as well - but we say thank you for giving us this time and still being so willing to serve and love.

One of Kim's friends, Sandra, said it perfectly I think. She said, "Thank you for letting me be a part of this; it's a sacred experience."

Saying this though - Kim really is ready to go. She has said all her good byes and is very much at peace... but she is just waiting on the Lord's time now for Him to take her. So please, pray that Kim can go soon, in peace. I know it's hard, because we love her presence here, but believe me - when it gets to the 4 word robot commands - we might all be better served to let her move on so that she can later talk to us in complete sentences.]

Hello all, this is Josh writing on behalf of Kim.

I wish I could say we had something hopeful and happy to write but unfortunately it is the opposite.

Tuesday Kim was admitted into Huntsman again for pain in her abdomen. After a CT scan it was seen that tumors had formed blocking sections of her small intestines, kidneys, and urinary tract, with other tumors forming. The teams of doctors have determined that the course of action to be had at this point is pain management. The doctors have said that we are looking at weeks of life left, and at the most a month or two.

We don't know when we will get to bring her home, but until kim has strength and desire to post again we are notifying her readers to log into Josh and Elena's blog for updates.

Thank you for your prayers, your hopes, and your kindness.

Tagged by Chrissy
I'm supposed to tell you seven weird facts about myself. I think everyone I know has been tagged by this, so I won't tag anyone new...but here are my 7 weirdnesses:

1. I read two or three books at the same time. This is because I usually don't put them down in places easy to find again, and while looking for it, I run across another one I put down before. Right now I am reading Having a Mary Heart in a Martha World, A New Earth, and a replica copy of the Book of Mormon in first edition format, more like a novel. I thought that might be interesting and shed new light on it to read it as a "story".
2. I have 17 years worth of Primary music visual aids stored in the closet. This plus what I leave at the church. It's rather a sickness. I never chuck anything as I might need it again or need to repurpose it.
3. David and I switch sides of the bed we sleep on a couple of times a year. I'd like to say this is in lieu of flipping the mattress, but really it totally depends on which of us needs to get up more frequently in the night to pee.
4. I have the same amount of Primary visual aids stored digitally in my computer. I also have tons of links to blogs, websites and more that I steal ideas from. I'm not as creative as I am a good copy-cat.
5. I am teaching the Primary kids a song to sing at my funeral. Might seem a little odd, I know, but it comforts me, and I think gives them a chance to process watching Sister Madsen battle cancer.
6. I own 30 hats and 25 scarves. If you need any hat for any occasion, come check my supply. They are not in use right now, as I have my hair during this chemo, but their waiting in case they are needed again.
7. I have 30 hanging baskets of flowers in my yard. I also have 25 different types of rose bushes ( does there seem to be a pattern to these numbers? I actually counted the hats, scarves, baskets and roses...) and too many perennials to count. Yes, my gardening is an obsession out of control as well.

You know, I just realized why Paula gave me a pillow that reads "too much of a good thing is wonderful..." (Mae West)

Everything's all right now, everything's fine...
So I have to apologize for scaring the neighbors last Friday night. Dave was cooking, dripped in the bottom of the oven, which set off the smoke alarm, which set off our fancy new alarm system, which dispatched the fire department, who came with lights and sirens blazing. My poor neighbors thought I had died or something and came running in bare feet (Thanks, Lynda, for being there for us...sorry to disturb your evening.) False alarm. All is well. The dinner was even good...it was just some splatters from squash in tinfoil. I told him to put in a pan to catch the drips. What do I know...

And the fun keeps coming. I've been having some new and disturbing symptoms since last Thursday: dizziness, shortness of breath, abdominal pain. When I reported it to my doctor yesterday, she got concerned and sent me in for a CT scan--she was worried about blood clots in my lungs. Fortunately, it didn't turn out to be that. Unfortunately, the CT scan showed new tumor growth right above my navel, about 1 inch in diameter. (I thought my belly button was getting an ever weirder shape than two major surgeries have given it.) She can't see how that tumor could be causing the symptoms, so I am tracking my food, water, activity, etc., to see if we can figure something out. Could be accumulating side-effects due to the chemo, could be the neupegen shots, could be the cancer. We just continue to wait and see. In the meantime, tap, tap, tap! My friends and I keep tap dancing and it's time to plant bulbs for next spring. (If I can bend over...)

Now We're Cooking with Gas...
As a matter of fact, ever since we redid the house, we have had a wonderful gas cook-top. Cooking hasn't always been my favorite thing to do, and every time I do it lately, my family asks me if I'm having a Betty Crocker fit. Note to self: You've let it go too long, Kim. You used to cook. You fed your family and baked bread and everything for years. I guess having cancer can definitely make you lazy in this department...

But I have found a couple of sites that intrigue me lately. I'm hoping they, and my two new crockpot cookbooks will inspire me to greater heights. I love great crockpot recipes. Anyone who has a favorite can share it with me! (please...) I seem to have a lot more energy in the morning and do a lot better at getting up, getting something in the crockpot for dinner and then not worrying about it as the day wears away, along with my energy.

http://thepioneerwoman.com/cooking/ This lady not only cooks great food, but takes wonderful pictures and blogs about it too.

http://web.me.com/rochelleht1/Rochelle_Tallmadge/food_storage_recipes.html is a fun link to a site where a creative cook shares her best recipes for things we usually keep around in our food storage.

http://thisweekfordinner.com/ This creative person posts a week's worth of menus, links to other sites and fun side dishes. What's not to inspire you?

I promise to reform and start cooking more. Dave will wonder what the heck happened!

Huck's Here!
Our newest little family member, Huckleberry David Madsen, came into the world today at 3:13 p.m. How's that for poetic...born on 10/13 at 3:13. His lucky number is destined to be 13! Josh and Elena both did wonderful at this having a baby thing. Elena was strong and brave and went through three hours of back labor in the wee hours of the morning by herself without bothering her sleeping hubby. Then he realized she wasn't in bed and got up to join her. They showed up at our house at 8:00 a.m. inviting us to go out to breakfast with them, but I was on my way to exercise and Dave was still sleeping, so we said we'd catch up with them later. By 10:00 a.m. they decided to head to the hospital with her pains coming 3 minutes apart. By 11:30 she was dilated to a 5, by 1:00 she was at a 7 and we got to the hospital around 2:00 just as she got the epidural and started loving life again. Check out Josh and Elena's blog and see all the great pictures he's put up already. Ah--the wonders of technology! Huck was 6 pounds 15 ounces and 19 and a half inches long. I personally think he looks just like my newborn picture. I'll dig one of those up and post it, to prove it to you!

To tap or not to tap? Silly Question...

My friend Karen Allred recently told us about a tap class she was starting to take. Paula, LouAnn and I immediately jumped on the bandwagon and a couple of weeks later, Caitlin joined us. We have so much fun! Shuffle ball change toe heel turn! Thanks, Karen, for introducing us to this fun class! (She was out of town on a cruise the day this picture was taken.) Here Paula, me and LouAnn get ready for hoofin' it.

Caitlin and I have a ball practicing during her lunch hour during the week, catching her up since she joined class a couple of weeks later than the rest of us. Look out next family talent show!

Sanctuary

I love opening my gate. There is nothing like a gate to say "this is a private space, but welcome, come in." I always think of the scene from IT'S A WONDERFUL LIFE where Jimmy Stewart is flirting with the girl he just met...his soon-to-be wife, over the little gate to her front yard. There is nothing like latching the gate shut to make you feel like you are home, safe, enclosed. It's sort of like a hug. I open the gate and go out, I come back and close the gate behind me. I am home. Sanctuary.